Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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