They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cut my penus on the lid.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
