I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
