Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize