Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
