i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
