Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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