And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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