Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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