Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
