You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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