You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
