SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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