there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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