yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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