tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
