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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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