Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
