...so i touched it.
I wish I only lived at night.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
