It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
