He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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