i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
