she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
