Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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