Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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