dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
