Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
