the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think my fart just growled at me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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