Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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