I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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