Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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