I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
