I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
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