Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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