the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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