Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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