arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Be still, my beating vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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