A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize