I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
