Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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