Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
