My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
