...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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