i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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