so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
50% drunk capacity currently
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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