If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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