The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
