and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
