If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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