I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
