Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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